Saturday, June 30, 2007

Scotcharoos

I'll give anything for a scotcharoo! Rice Krispies, marshmallow, peanut butter, with chocolate on top. I used to make them with my grama. I just want one because I know they are not exactly diet friendly. I don't want to make a whole pan, and I don't want to buy all of the ingredients because I'm trying to clean out the kitchen right now. But sometimes you have a craving, and nothing but that thing will satisfy you.

I don't really want a lot of kids, but lately I've been thinking that if you have a lot of kids, you can make a whole batch of cookies, and you have enough people to eat it, so they aren't sitting around the house tempting you. I know, that's not a good reason to have kids. Conversely, I'd have to make pounds and pounds of steak, fish, pork, and other things I hate. Live by cooking for an army, die by cooking for an army, right?

My
grama had six kids, and she was a pro at cookies and bars. Besides that she made casserole a lot, as I remember. Casserole is great and easy. I don't think DBF would eat casserole.

After I get over this
scotcharoo thing, DBF is going to start an abdominal exercise regime with me. Yay!

-
MsLin

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Rudeness is Magic

There are a few people that it's just not advisable to be rude to. One is anyone who will now, or in the future, handle your food. Another is people who work for you and your coworkers or classmates. Consider the situation that you have coworkers who handle your food, then you should really not be rude to them. The thing is that there is a feeling among coworkers: "We're all in this together." Even if you would never hang out outside of work, you still discuss work stuff while at work. Through this theory, I've never had a problem with a coworker, and I've never had any desire to be rude to a coworker, esp. given the idea that I will likely be seeing them often.

Our superiors have decided that employees are not allowed to have drinking water while on duty in the store. I don't know the exact rule, but it was mentioned to me, and I use a Nalgene bottle. Another coworker came over to get water in a cup with a lid because the version of the rule she heard was that bottled water wasn't allowed, but a cup with a lid and your name on it was ok. I don't get the difference, but whatever. The whole thing about water is so stupid. If the version I heard was true, and we aren't allowed to have water at all, then I'm glad I'm quitting in a month. In the dry air, it's easy to get dehydrated, to start feeling sick, and to lose your calm demeanor.

As an added complication today, we had a mix up with the soda machine tubes, so our water, from the soda machine tasted peppery like Pepsi. The water from the tap behind the counter goes through the same filtering system, so we use it like the soda machine water.

Anyway, one of our coworkers came over for a cup of water with a lid. As we went to get water from the tap, she started yelling. We said, it's the same filtered water, and our soda machine water tastes peppery because of the mix-up. I'm not kidding these are her exact words, "Well, YOU CAN KEEP IT THEN BECAUSE I'VE HAD YOUR TAP WATER, and IT'S NOT THE SAME." While she's walking away. I would've said, "Ok, that's fine, but I don't want water from the tap. Thanks anyway." I wouldn't have gotten all hostile.

I'll tell you what, though. All the nasty rudeness actually worked. The soda machine water magically got fixed. The crazy rule was overturned. It made me feel all warm inside.
It made me NOT fantasize about giving out "sneeze muffins." That's what I mean "Rudeness is magic." Being nice never got anything done.

Kicking kittens is also an effective method.

-MsLin

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Guide to Owning a Bird

To your dog, you are a god. To your cat, you are a servant. To your fish, you are a ghost or a wizard. To your bird, you are an equal. You probably haven't noticed, but you have a shiny thing [earring] stuck in your earlobe; he'll remove it for you. You probably can't reach the top of your head, and the feathers [hair] up there needs preening; it's his specialty. You're amazed that he can talk; he's amazed that you can whistle.

He studies your mannerisms, as you study his. When his comb straight up, you know he's scared, when it's flat, he's threatened, when it's half way up, he's found something interesting and he's content. He tries to get your attention by knocking on things with his beak. He knocks his beak on the table,
squats down, and holds his wings loosely to show that he is happy and he likes you, sometimes making the vague motions of knocking, though not actually making contact with his beak.

He's not afraid to climb, and he's not afraid to fall. He wants to be in the highest possible location. He is not satisfied by perching on your shoulder when your head offers the best view. He's not satisfied perching on your head when he could perch on a shower rack, open door, curtain rod, or fan blade.

Flocks stick together, and you should never have to do anything alone. When you eat, he eats. He studies what you eat, and occasionally, boldly ventures an outstretched beak into your bowl or onto your plate to test it out. When you sleep, he sleeps. If you cover his cage, but he knows you're awake, he makes talking noises, whistles to you, and peeks out from under the cover.

Yesterday Kavi went to a bird boarding house, where he can play with other birds until I come back from China.

-MsLin

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

On Fairy Tales

I visited some friends yesterday, and the conversation turned to fairy tales, since my friend has a 2 1/2-yr-old daughter. She tells her daughter "clean" fairy tales. For example, in "Little Red Riding Hood," the grandmother doesn't get eaten, instead she locks the door so the wolf can't come in. It's true that the fairy tales of old are incredibly violent, include strange torture, and are sorely lacking in strong, independent women.

On the other hand, these stories are part of our common experience. Consider meeting someone who has never seen the Wizard of Oz or someone like Phoebe on Friends who doesn't know the Old Yeller dies at the end. It's important to know the true story, so that you can talk about it and share it with others. In fact, these common stories are useful for me in teaching, since many of them are told in my students' native languages. Since the students already know the storyline and the characters and objects that will appear, it's a good way for them to learn English vocabulary in a fun way. (I did this in pronunciation with advanced learners with "The Tortoise and the Hare," which all of them had heard, but it was a great discussion about pronunciation and difference between a "hare" and a "rabbit."

My Grama told me all the real stories (and I turned out fine, btw). She had the best books, and lots of them. My favorites were Sleeping Beauty and Hansel and Gretel. Hansel and Gretel had really nice illustrations, especially of the witch, and I think I also liked that it was a bit disturbingly intriguing. For example, the idea that the witch was going to eat Hansel and that they killed the witch by tricking her and pushing in the oven carried some intrigue, since it's a strange Sylvia Plath way to die. But the witch was really the best character. Hansel and Gretel were blonde with pointy noses, and I know they were supposed to be protagonists, but I always liked the witches. This one was drawn particularly well, with green skin, the color of a green olive, and she had a huge mop of long, straight, stringy white hair, and her size was quite daunting compared to the children.



I've always held a soft-spot for villains, and witches in particular. From Disney, my favorite is Maleficent (which means "evil-doer") from Sleeping Beauty. But really Maleficent, or her traditional counterpart really isn't so bad, and she is pretty weak actually. The fairy's magic always prevails. Another favorite is the Queen in Snow White. She is so purely evil, self-absorbed, and clinically crazy that she must've existed. When I heard the command to the Huntsman to put Snow White's heart in a box, it gave my stomach a turn, but it's still more mundane than recent horror flicks. Anyway, the Huntsman lets Snow White get away, so the slight horror of wondering if he would really go through with it, goes away quickly. The queen, however, is still a looming threat, and I suppose we were supposed to get the message: "Don't take food from strangers, but living with seven little men is okay."

-MsLin